Words of Wisdom Wednesday

Ep. 105: WOWW – Keep It Real With Yourself

Keep It Real With Yourself

Keep It Real With YourselfBefore I launched the WOWW Campaign podcast, I took about 18 months off from entrepreneurship. I knew I was grieving the death of my grandmother, but I had no idea why our relationship was so significant in my life. “Love” was not enough of an explanation and so I waited to understand so I could move on with my life and get back to the work I love doing, which is inspiring women through storytelling.

One of the things that shifted my life drastically was when I began to be honest with myself by answering some of the hardest questions I’ve ever asked. In order to uncover the root of my pain, I had to face aspects of myself and my past that I had previously kept hidden from the world. As I’ve said in other podcast episodes, it all starts with self-awareness.

Today’s Words of Wisdom Wednesday podcast episode is about the importance of being honest with ourselves and how doing this is the gateway to many other things. Positive change results from having the courage and humility to admit to ourselves what we’ve been avoiding. I was able to launch the podcast and feel more motivated than ever when I understood where my fear came from because it separated me from the fear itself. The more I understood cause and effect, the less I revolved my identity around this emotion. “Keeping it real with yourself” paves the way for a path of self-discovery and introspection that often leads to a more fulfilling life because we become less afraid of experiencing the range of emotions that accompany all of our experiences. There’s nothing scarier than facing ourselves and once this can be done, everything else is confronted with less fear.


LINKS:

{{LISTEN TO THE WOWW CAMPAIGN PODCAST ON ITUNES}}

Ep. 102: WOWW – Don’t Bring Your Past Into Your Present

Don't Bring Your Past Into Your Present

Don't Bring Your Past Into Your PresentToday’s Words of Wisdom Wednesday episode is about choosing to start again and not allowing your past to dictate your present actions. Because we’ve all been hurt, rejected, betrayed and disappointed, it’s important to remain aware of how these emotions leave scars that later manifest in different ways.

Many times, we react based on what we’ve previously been through, but these reactions aren’t always positive and often, close us off from the possibility of experiencing new people, relationships and opportunities. The purpose of today’s podcast episode is to remind women everywhere that while it’s important to learn from the past, it’s even more important to make a conscious effort not to allow the scars that remain in our hearts to pave the way of our future.

In both our personal and professional life, there will be hardships and challenging times. But choosing to start again requires us to continue putting our best foot forward. We should strive to give our present everything we have in order to avoid regret. “Don’t bring your past into your present” is about cherishing the lessons that painful experiences left behind but appreciating the “new” for what it is: the opportunity to begin again and create new memories that just might surprise us.


LINKS:

{{LISTEN TO THE WOWW CAMPAIGN PODCAST ON ITUNES}}

Ep. 100: WOWW – One Step At A Time

2017 was the first year I kept and completed my New Year’s Resolutions and when I analyzed the reasons why this actually happened, it was due to small actions that I took every single day. Naturally, I want to be able to do this in 2018 as well, so what better message to kick off the New Year than a lesson about what I learned from my New Years Resolutions these past twelve months.

What I realized was that everything began with one step. Instead of focusing on the big picture, I chose to focus my attention on small things I could do on a daily basis because thinking of where I’d rather be was too overwhelming.

The New Year is a time to reflect and begin again, which is why many people set new intentions and goals for the coming year. New Year’s Resolutions are frequently made but seldom kept and until last year, I was one of those people, too. Today’s episode discusses what finally ignited the launch of the WOWW Campaign podcast and how I was able to complete 99 episodes in one year.

Taking action and changing things in your life doesn’t happen overnight and often times, requires consistent patience. All of the great leaders of the world we know of today also started somewhere and began from zero. The intention behind today’s message is to encourage you to look at your New Year’s Resolutions with a different perspective so the chances that they’re accomplished become greater and manageable. Wishing everyone a year full of prosperity joy!


LINKS:

{{LISTEN TO THE WOWW CAMPAIGN PODCAST ON ITUNES}}

Ep. 096: WOWW-3 Lessons Learned From The First 99 Episodes

3 Things I've Learned From Recording The First 99 Episodes

3 Things I've Learned From Recording The First 99 EpisodesCrazy to think that one year ago, I was visualizing what it would be like to have the WOWW Campaign podcast launched. One year later, I’m writing about the lessons learned that this journey has taught me these past 12 months as a result of recording the first 99 episodes.

My goal was to publish one episode per week, so to have 99 episodes recorded feels somewhat surreal, but immensely gratifying. Although this path hasn’t been easy, it’s been enlightening and well worth the challenge. I’ve learned a plethora of lessons that I hope will help to inspire other entrepreneurs and encourage people to keep going.

As you’ll hear in this podcast episode, some of my darkest times have been my greatest teachers and sources of inspiration for new projects. Aside from absorbing the lessons learned, I’ve remained hungry for discovery because knowledge and evolution is infinite. I’m certain that the next 99 episodes will bring new lessons, new experiences, and new sources of inspiration. But for now, I leave you with an episode about scarcity, planning, winning, loss, consistency, and the importance of taking initiative. Enjoy!


LINKS:

{{LISTEN TO THE WOWW CAMPAIGN PODCAST ON ITUNES}}

Ep. 093: WOWW-You Can’t Do It Alone

You Can't Do It Alone

You Can't Do It AloneI’ve interviewed many female leaders and there’s a common denominator that was the inspiration behind today’s Words of Wisdom Wednesday episode. Whether it’s a spouse, friend, neighbor, or your faith, we all rely on something/someone to remind us we’re not in this alone. I discuss how some of my darkest moments that came after my grandmother’s passing was due to extreme feelings associated with loneliness, which in turn led to isolation and despair.

Whether you’re an entrepreneur or not, the purpose of today’s message is to encourage unity because regardless of our path, we need other people to navigate some of life’s challenges. In this podcast episode, you’ll hear how my faith ultimately played a positive role in my depression and was a catalyst to my recovery. Believing in something greater and ultimately, the thought that someone was by my side guiding my steps gave me strength because alone, the thought of doing life was too much to do on my own.

“You can’t do it alone” is a message I hope leaves women feeling inspired to not only help others, but also seek help for themselves. Independence is great, but it’s not the ultimate source of power and I do believe that because we need one another, we’re all better together.


LINKS:

{{LISTEN TO THE WOWW CAMPAIGN PODCAST ON ITUNES}}

Ep. 089: WOWW – Self-Care Is Not Selfish

Self-Care Is Not Selfish

Self-Care Is Not SelfishLately, I hear a lot of references made about the importance of “self-care” but to be honest, I wasn’t quite sure what it meant or entailed. I would immediately picture myself getting a manicure whenever I’d hear this topic come up. But lately, I’ve become more curious about the idea of taking care of yourself and what that actually feels like.

The past six months have been some of the happiest times of my entire life so I’ve taken time to carefully examine the things that have contributed to these joyful {pun intended} feelings. I want to begin by clarifying that my sudden increase in happiness hasn’t come from the abolition of sad or unhappy moments. Neither has it been a result of a sudden inheritance or pile of wealth that has allowed me to travel the world. None of that has remotely happened, so like everyone else, I still have “bad” days and continue to be a motivated entrepreneur trying to grow my platform.

The cause of my happiness has been because of “self-care” and the fact that I finally know what that means for me. Taking care of yourself is not selfish and in fact, it should be required. You can’t give to others what you don’t give to yourself, so it’s important to define those parameters sooner than later. I learned that saying “no” isn’t difficult for me to do and when I agree to circumstances or people that go against who I truly am, it doesn’t feel good in my body and sooner or later, ends up manifesting in negative ways. Therefore, I started to say ‘no’ a lot more often while creating boundaries in my friendships and relationships so I could remain true to myself. This resulted in spending less time with people that had gone way past their expiration date in my life. I learned that everyone isn’t meant to stay forever and taking care of myself, actually putting self-care into practice, meant being honest.

For the first time in months, I recently took a day off to act like a tourist. I realized that I refrained from doing non-working activities because my childhood taught me that in order to be valued, doing something/anything was necessary. I felt worthless when I wasn’t working, so I always worked. But one of the greatest epiphanies I’ve had has been related to my work and this podcast. I’ve come to the conclusion that self-care is everything that makes your heart sing and for some, that includes the professional work you do or how you make a living. I’m lucky to be in a field that speaks to my soul on a daily basis and even though it’s hard for many to believe that I rather be working than doing almost anything else, it’s true. In this episode of Words of Wisdom Wednesday, I talk about the importance of self-care, what that looks like for me and why I feel the need to encourage other women to seek similar feelings within themselves.


LINKS:

{{LISTEN TO THE WOWW CAMPAIGN PODCAST ON ITUNES}}

Ep. 085: WOWW – Distance From People Can Be Good For The Soul

Distance From People Can Be Good For The Soul

Distance From People Can Be Good For The SoulToday’s Words of Wisdom Wednesday podcast episode is about the importance of choosing your surroundings wisely, including people you allow into your life. We often hear the words “the more the merrier,” but this isn’t necessarily true. Sometimes, our souls need to be protected and ‘distance’ happens to be the cure.

Distance creates space, both physically and mentally. It’s true that we often appreciate what we have once it’s no longer available. That’s not to say that only through alienation will we feel gratitude because we can be grateful when we’re close to others, too. However, space, silence, distance and solitude can be used for the positive. We often notice a shift in some way and this helps us clarify whether this is a relationship worth keeping or not. Distance between two individuals should be seen as something positive and a tool that can only benefit us in the long-run.

When two people separate, they either come back together or stay apart and when the separation is permanent, most people realize they’re better off without the other, which is a win for all parties involved. Fear often keeps us from exploring this space and therefore, we fight to keep things unified when maybe there’s nothing left to salvage. Today’s message was recorded to inspire you and encourage you to look at these scenarios with an optimistic mindset. We learn and grow through our experiences and practicing these messages, which is why it’s important that they’re discussed. Distance from people isn’t always a negative outcome and today’s Words of Wisdom explores the many different ways that this has been true in my life.


LINKS:

{{LISTEN TO THE WOWW CAMPAIGN PODCAST ON ITUNES}}

Ep. 083: WOWW-3 Things I Do When I’m Feeling Blue

3 Things I Do When I'm Feeling Blue

3 Things I Do When I'm Feeling BlueToday’s Words of Wisdom Wednesday episode is about mental health and the importance behind implementing tools that make you feel better or put you in a healthier state-of-mind. As I’ve mentioned before in previous podcast episodes, depression has been something I’ve struggled with consistently and only recently have I started to recognize which small changes in my daily routine help influence my mindset.

In this episode, I talk about the three things I do when I’m feeling blue in hopes of inspiring others to seek understanding behind their own personal struggles and circumstances. The three things I do are:

  1. Organize my personal space.
  2. Read with Frankie {WOWW Campaign’s Chief Motivation Officer AKA my dog}.
  3. Do tasks related to work productivity.
1. Organize my personal space.

Organizing my external surroundings instantly makes my internal world more peaceful. By nature, I’m the type of person that appreciates things being in their place and a sense of cleanliness. In the darkest moments of my depression, I noticed a pattern that was not reflective of who I truly am. I realized that anytime I didn’t feel at peace with myself, my home was usually disorganized as well, which has never been a habit of mine. When I started to do things around my house that were parallel with how I actually wanted to feel internally, it was instantaneously satisfying, so I did more of this. And during difficult times, I make a conscious effort to keep things around me in their place, not because it gives me a sense of control, but rather because it brings me happiness and a sense of stability that reminds me of my potential and where I aim to be.

2. Reading with Frankie.

I used to think that I’d read one book and then it’d lead to a permanent state of enlightenment. Not sure what I was thinking, but I know now that’s not the case. In fact, I’d crave inspiration when I wasn’t reading a book early in the morning or before going to sleep at night, so I began to pay closer attention to the feelings reading would bring me. What I noticed was that I felt “lighter” and more at peace when I was learning and acquiring knowledge in some way. It made me feel like I was moving in a positive direction or simply that I was moving forward, in general. Over time, I learned to be more consistent about my reading habits so I could benefit from the effects this habit had on my mental health. Luckily, I discovered Kindle Unlimited, which I immediately subscribed to in order to read many different books per month and as a result, improve my overall well-being.

3. Doing tasks related to work productivity.

No matter how small the task, I don’t allow my depression to knock me out like it once did. It used to show up and I’d be “paralyzed” for days, sometimes weeks. One day, I decided to do something as simple as check my email even though I didn’t even have the energy to eat. I felt useful, even for those few moments, but it was a positive feeling that left it’s imprint. So the next time I was feeling depressed, I again forced myself to make a phone call or contact a client. Little by little, these small tasks became addicting during these dark periods because it felt better than not doing anything at all. In time, I wanted to do more productive actionable tasks that would lead to an accumulation of an entire workday. Noticing these things required a tremendous amount of self-awareness and vulnerability because it wasn’t easy to admit that there was a problem to begin with. These observations became tools and in-time, valuable assets that never expire and have a positive ROI on my business, but on my physical and mental health as well.


LINKS:

{{LISTEN TO THE WOWW CAMPAIGN PODCAST ON ITUNES}}

Ep. 081: WOWW – How Thinking “We’re All In This Together” Helped Me Have Compassion Towards My Exes

We're All In This Together

We're All In This TogetherI love talking about relationships and the lessons that various circumstances left behind in my life. Because of this, I decided to write a book titled: 10 Lessons My Exes Left Behind. If you’d like to know when it’ll be available on Amazon, sign up to our newsletter using this link.

Today’s message is about empathy and how realizing that we’re more similar than we are different helped me feel compassion and empathy towards ex boyfriends that I once felt didn’t deserve any of these emotions from me. In this podcast episode, I talk about how my faith and believing that we all come from the same “Source” influenced my perspective by eliminating hierarchy between personalities and individuals. Realizing that we all feel pain and heartache but maybe show it in different ways allowed me to feel closer to people that I had previously rejected.

In no way does this mean that we should allow everyone into our life because of these similarities. Rather, this perspective should serve to help us heal and let go of situations and people by not allowing feelings of anger or remorse to feed our ego. “We are all in this together” is a reminder that we all have our highs and lows and we all make mistakes in different areas of our life. The magnitude of our mistakes don’t make one person better than the other. On the contrary, I’ve learned that many of the experiences and feelings we encounter are inevitable because life is full of suffering. Therefore, these similarities among human beings should support why we should forgive more often, exhibit compassion and remember that we are all in this together.


LINKS:

{{LISTEN TO THE WOWW CAMPAIGN PODCAST ON ITUNES}}

Ep. 079: WOWW – 3 Reasons Why Entrepreneurship Is Not For Everyone

3 Reasons Why Entrepreneurship Is Not For Everyone

3 Reasons Why Entrepreneurship Is Not For EveryoneAccording to my research {AKA Google Searches}, this week is recognized by many global organizations as “Entrepreneurship Week.” Lately, I feel like entrepreneurship has been sensationalized and some of the realities associated with this journey aren’t discussed enough, which is why many entrepreneurs suffer in silence.

Choosing this path comes with a lot of freedom and yes, making your own schedule is an attractive aspect of entrepreneurship. However, with this kind of freedom comes a plethora of other aspects that are not-so-attractive and often, extremely difficult to get accustomed to. In today’s Words of Wisdom Wednesday podcast episode, I’ll be highlighting 3 reasons why entrepreneurship is not for everyone.

  1. You have to be detail oriented, but detached from perfectionism.
  2. Rejection shows up on a daily basis.
  3. Most of us are slaves to comparing.
1. You have to be detail-oriented, but detached from perfectionism.

Before I launched the WOWW Campaign podcast, I had to breakup with perfectionism because this was holding me back in more ways than one. When I was creating the podcast, I researched things to-death because I didn’t want to create or publish anything that wasn’t viewed as “perfect.” However, creating a platform from scratch can feel like you’re putting together a puzzle. It requires you to keep the big picture in-mind, while training your mind to think on a micro level and bridge the pieces necessary that’ll make up the end goal. The attention to detail is constant and necessary if you plan to be successful. But if you’re tied to perfection, those details will not only take twice as long to create, they may not even get completed at all. Speed is everything in the beginning stages of a business and if you’re not willing to create, adjust and pivot on a regular basis without taking things personal, entrepreneurship is not for you.

2. Rejection shows up on a daily basis.

Whether or not you’re selling a tangible product, entrepreneurship always requires a sales component. Sometimes you’re selling an idea while other times, you’re selling a service no one has purchased. Unless you’re Oprah’s child or have a last name that’s known globally, you’ll probably be the only one that’s going to have blind faith in your idea. Family and friends not showing the support you thought they would is a form of rejection and yes, it’s painful. Potential clients not returning an email or phone call is also a form of rejection. Reality is, rejection shows up on a daily basis when you’re an entrepreneur. Today, we live in a world where ‘likes’ dictate our popularity, which is having a negative impact on the mental state of many people around the world. If you’re sensitive to these things or the idea of rejection overwhelms you with fear, entrepreneurship is not for you.

3. Most of us are slaves to comparing.

Social media has made it easy for people to analyze strangers, which has created a vicious cycle of comparing and contrasting. The truth is there will always be someone more successful or more attractive than you. If you have any type of physical insecurity, this can be enhanced due to social media. The same applies for entrepreneurs because competitors also have access to the number of ‘followers’ and growth a business is experiencing. In order to be successful, we have to stay in our lane and commit to focused productivity. Entrepreneurs can’t afford to waste time looking at what their neighbor is doing because not only is it time consuming, it’s counterproductive. If you’re a slave to comparing in any way, entrepreneurship is not for you.


LINKS:

{{LISTEN TO THE WOWW CAMPAIGN PODCAST ON ITUNES}}

Ep. 075: WOWW – Everyone Has a Place In Your Life

Everyone Has A Place In Your Life

Everyone Has A Place In Your LifeBy nature, I’d define myself as an “intense” person because I’m passionate about topics and my love towards certain conversations isn’t forced. This trait naturally translates into my personal life because my relationships with people carry a lot of weight since allowing someone into my space isn’t the easiest task. Although I’m fascinated by human beings and the complexity of our emotional and mental state, who I spend my free time is a different story. I don’t have a lot of free time, therefore, where it’s allocated and how it’s dispersed is strategically calculated.

I used to think that everyone in our life had to occupy the place of “BFF.” However, life and time have taught me that individuals vary for a reason and therefore, it’s normal that our dynamic with people vary as well. Everyone isn’t meant to be our best friend or love of our life. In fact, many people are here for the sole purpose of teaching us lessons and exposing us to new ways of thinking. Some people are here to open our hearts, even after they’ve been broken. The point is, everyone has a place in your life. The reason some people only stay for a season remains a mystery, but always has a purpose, which is why we should be grateful for the experiences we’re a part of with these people.

In this episode of Words of Wisdom Wednesday, I talk about how I’ve learned to accept the different types of relationships into my life. Looking back on my friendships, they were what I needed at the time even though some of them may have transformed into something different that now feels foreign. As people, we’re constantly changing, so it’s only normal that the relationships in our life evolve as well. When a relationship ends, look for the lessons because they’re always there, waiting to be discovered. Often time, there’s shame associated with the end of a relationship or friendship because we’re afraid that others may think we’re not worthy or flawed in some way. In order to embrace the lessons that arise from these situations, we must first let go of the need to please other people and accept that regardless of circumstances, people will always have an opinion about situations unrelated to them. By releasing the shame, we open ourselves to the possibility of self-awareness, enlightenment, fresh perspectives, and a yearning for personal development.


LINKS:

{{LISTEN TO THE WOWW CAMPAIGN PODCAST ON ITUNES}}

Ep. 071: WOWW – Your Reflection May Blind Some People

Your Reflection May Blind Some People

Your Reflection May Blind Some PeopleToday’s Words of Wisdom Wednesday podcast episode is about the reactions we receive from people as a result of taking action in our own life. Although your intentions may be in a good place, which includes celebrating vulnerability and courage, people around you may not celebrate those triumphs in the way you expect them to. This happens because your reflection may blind some people and also serve as a mirror to show them what they have not been able to accomplish.

I’ve had ex boyfriends and friends that became annoyed whenever I was friendly towards a stranger. Initiating a conversation would be frowned upon and sometimes followed by a passive aggressive comment referencing my desire to want to connect with people. Initially, I took this as unwarranted criticism that I saw to be completely unnecessary. As a result, I’d become defensive towards the individual that would reject my innate personality traits. However, as time and life have shown up, I’ve learned that people often react due to their internal environment, not yours.

Engaging with strangers, starting a business, leaving a relationship, all of these things require some type of courage and vulnerability; two traits that many wish they had, but can’t figure out how to acquire. Therefore, many of the things we decide to do in our own life serves as a reflection for others and that itself, is enough to blind a village. I mention these experiences in today’s podcast episode because it’s important for us to be realistic about the expectations we have for other people so that when we begin our own journey, we’re not filled with a plethora of disappointments. The things you do in your life and the courageous actions you choose to embark on may not only blind some people, but also serve as a reminder of what they’re incapable of doing. This is easier said than done, but displaying empathy and compassion in these scenarios makes all of the difference. This doesn’t mean we turn a blind-eye and accept verbal or emotional abuse, rather we should become aware of the reality and create separation so that our emotions and feelings aren’t inundated with external chatter that in the end, has nothing to do with us.


LINKS:

{{LISTEN TO THE WOWW CAMPAIGN PODCAST ON ITUNES}}

Ep. 068: WOWW – You Will Smile Again

You Will Smile Again

You Will Smile AgainI remember the first time I experienced disappointment when one of my ex-boyfriends and I decided to go our different ways. I knew I was too young and unaware to be in a serious relationship, but nevertheless, letting go of that first love was painful and hard to accept. The first thing I wondered was if I’d ever feel that kind of love again; I didn’t know if I would smile again. It was the kind of love that makes you forget other people exist in the universe and the kind of love that makes you believe that anything is possible. It was young love, but it was pure love.

It seems that there’s a pattern in my life when I break up with an ex-boyfriend. I always make drastic changes the moment I realize I wasn’t living up to my full potential when I was in the relationship. Years ago, I decided to move and study abroad, which led to a plethora of new lifelong friendships and wonderful experiences. I went out most days of the week and was usually the first one to arrive at every social gathering I was invited to because I craved human interaction more than anything. When my ex-boyfriend and I dated, I rarely went out or experienced new things since we fell into a routine rather quickly. Naturally, this new chapter felt exciting because of the fun stories that came along with every exhilarating event.

As time passed, I found myself smiling more often and soon, the feeling of heartbreak and confusion started to feel like a distant memory. When you’re going through something painful, it’s not unusual to wonder if those sad feelings will stay there permanently. They’re so profound that it seems impossible that they’ll pass through, like everything else in life. Those emotions begin to identify with the unrealistic thoughts that you may never smile again, but you will. I did smile again and not because I was happy to have gotten over my ex-boyfriend, but because the life I began to live later on was a reminder that joy could still be found in unexpected places.

Today’s Words of Wisdom Wednesday is to remind you of that fact: you will smile again. Don’t force it or fake happiness because eventually, the true emotions will surface. Rather, have unwavering faith that your life will begin to unfold as it should and that way, when those new fulfilling experiences show up, you’ll not only genuinely smile because they’re happening, but you’ll also thank the universe for showing you that everything is temporary. Enjoy the new reasons why you’re smiling and be grateful that your pain didn’t last a lifetime.


LINKS:

{{LISTEN TO THE WOWW CAMPAIGN PODCAST ON ITUNES}}



Ep. 66: WOWW – Bask in Laughter

Bask in Laughter

Bask in LaughterIt’s only when “the end” knocks on our door that we reflect on the moments that actually mattered. Much of the conflict we experience with other individuals stems from misunderstandings and lack of clarity, but rarely stems from meaningful things that we should forever hold onto. However, this doesn’t stop us from hurting one another and making circumstances a much bigger deal than they need to be. We do this with friends, family members, loved ones, partners, strangers, and yet a fundamental aspect is often overlooked: in the end, it doesn’t really matter.

Today’s Words of Wisdom episode is about the importance of basking in laughter because joy  is underrated until you no longer have access to it. Appreciate the moments that you laugh so hard your stomach hurts and remember that nothing is permanent. Focus on your level of self-awareness so that the next time you’re sitting in front of someone you love, you choose to rejoice instead of looking for what’s missing. One of the lessons my past relationships has left behind was due to conflict arising. When I realized I couldn’t remember why most arguments began, I instantly noticed that they probably didn’t matter to begin with. However, when I savored the joyful moments, I immediately wished I would have been able to freeze time.

I share this lesson with all of you because it’s important to realize what we could do more of, and not only reflect on things to avoid. Bask in laughter because you never know the turns life takes and how much time we have left. This message is not suggesting you ignore other subject matters that are important to you, but pick your battles wisely. As life goes on, we don’t wish we would have spent more time fighting. In fact, time and the inevitable “end” serves to remind us that since nothing is guaranteed, we have a choice to shift our focus, and ultimately our energy. Where focus goes, energy flows. 


LINKS:

{{LISTEN TO THE WOWW CAMPAIGN PODCAST ON ITUNES}}

Ep. 065: WOWW – The “Ugly” Is Trying To Tell You Something

The Ugly is Trying to Tell You Something

The Ugly is Trying to Tell You SomethingToday’s Words of Wisdom Wednesday podcast episode is about the not-so-nice sides of us because there are tremendous lessons waiting to be uncovered behind every dark moment. One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned as a result of conflict and my reactions was that my trigger points often had less to do with the other individual and more to do with unresolved childhood wounds.

Every couple fights or has a disagreement, but how you get your point across or react in those circumstances matters the most. Often times, our impulsive reactions are trying to tell us something about our own insecurities or unresolved childhood wounds. But in the moment, and because of ego, it can be hard to see the signs and behavioral patterns. Looking back on previous relationships and the lessons my ex boyfriends left behind, I can see how I attracted similar scenarios because things within me needed healing and a change in behavior. It wasn’t until I was ready to assimilate these truths that I could let go of broken relationships and unsatisfactory outcomes. I had to first become inquisitive about myself in order to address the things that needed attention.

I became curious as to why I cried, yelled, or became angry under certain circumstances. We’ve all been there – all of us are guilty of saying or doing things that we later regret. In particular, words have the ability to trigger negative emotions that I then display on the outside. What is said to me and the manner in which it’s done has the ability to bring up childhood memories that trigger feelings of isolation and negligence. These emotions manifested in an angry side of me when I was in relationships because not only was I unaware of how to address these circumstances, I was unaware of the cause of the problem. The “ugly” sides of us are not what define us, but rather what is trying to teach us something.

Today, I’m better equipped to react because I’m aware of my trigger points. Many times, I observe them taking place as if everything were in slow motion because I no longer identify as being part of the problem. I now see scenarios objectively and position myself as a solution so that if the “ugly” were to try and make an appearance, I can graciously turn that moment into an opportunity for growth, rather than conflict.


LINKS:

{{LISTEN TO THE WOWW CAMPAIGN PODCAST ON ITUNES}}

Ep.064: WOWW – Grow Together or Grow Apart

Grow Together or Grow Apart

Grow Together or Grow Apart
Issues arise in every relationship and sometimes, couples choose to spend time apart. What I’ve learned through this is that when that happens, many times couples don’t grow together because growth requires cohesiveness. In this episode of Words of Wisdom Wednesday, I discuss an example in my life where an ex and I went separate ways and when he tried to reconcile, I felt nothing because I had evolved into a different human being. We no longer had things in common and struggled to maintain a conversation because our interests had evolved as well.

During the time we were apart, I matured in a different way than he did and physical attraction was no longer enough. I needed more from the relationship but that “more” represented a need to rebuild on something that no longer existed. Fires can’t last forever if there’s nothing to burn. Eventually the material that allows the fire to exist ceases, which is what happened to attraction and chemistry between two people. If both do not prioritize growing as individuals and make an effort to build upon a bond, it’s likely you’ll grow apart.

This week’s podcast episode was created in preparation for the launch of my upcoming book about the lessons my exes left behind. Relationships are where we most grow and if we choose to find the light, lessons rise to the surface showing us that no experience is a waste of time. The lessons my ex boyfriends left are a result of the dynamic within the relationship, not the actual individual. While we’re able to learn from watching other people’s behavior, I decided to focus on my personal feelings, emotions, and reactions. As I became inquisitive about why certain scenarios caused pain and grief, I slowly began to uncover the root of these emotions, leading me down an endless path of self-discovery.


LINKS:

{{LISTEN TO THE WOWW CAMPAIGN PODCAST ON ITUNES}}

Ep. 062: WOWW – The Happier YOU Are, The Happier You BOTH Will Be

The Happier You Are

Previous RelationshipsWhen I began reflecting on my previous relationships, I noticed a pattern: I was always unhappy with something (anything) they did. Often, these traits were minimal and didn’t matter in the long run. In the moment, they were sensationalized and exasperated. But once the relationship ended, I could hardly remember the cause of those insignificant fights that over time, had a lasting impact on the tone of the relationship. The dysfunctional dynamic that often permeated throughout most of my relationships existed because that’s how I felt about myself. Internally, I always felt confused, uncertain, and fearful, so I sought confirmation of my internal condition.

One of the lessons my previous relationships left behind was the realization that I needed to be happy with myself first. I learned to not only recognize, but also heal the wounds that were causing me to seek chaos and dysfunction. I wanted my partner to exhibit empathy, compassion and love, but I was incapable of giving those things to myself, so how could I receive what I wasn’t able to give? In this week’s Words of Wisdom Wednesday podcast episode, I talk about how I learned that the happier I was as a person, the happier we both would be in the relationship. In my upcoming book, I go into greater detail about why this became one of the greatest lessons I learned and how it constantly showed up in all of my relationships.

I hope this week’s podcast episode inspires all of those in a relationship to seek truth and humility because self-awareness can be painful and complicated. However, the rewards beneath these epiphanies can change the dynamic of the relationship we have with others, and most importantly, the relationship we have with ourselves.


LINKS:

{{LISTEN TO THE WOWW CAMPAIGN PODCAST ON ITUNES}} 

Ep. 60: WOWW – How You Fight Matters

How You Fight Matters

How You Fight Matters
This week’s Words of Wisdom Wednesday is about a chapter in my upcoming book about the lessons my exes left behind. I’ve learned that how you fight matters because conflict between two people is inevitable. Your significant other is going to make you upset and if he/she hasn’t yet, just wait. We’re human; we all get upset, annoyed, and hurt, but how we handle those circumstances makes all the difference. I’ve been in relationships where my ex fought to keep us together; his intention was always to find a solution, even though that sometimes meant a professional therapist telling us we should split up. On the other hand, I’ve also been in relationships with men who didn’t know how to solve an emotional-related situation. Everything doesn’t have to be a long-winded discussion, but when problems arise, it’s important that there’s a meeting point. How you get to that point is what matters the most. I’ve had exes that “got over it” but never addressed their reactions, leading me to believe they had resolved everything internally. Wrong. 

Two people are in a relationship, and therefore two people have to be part of the solution. Pretending an issue didn’t happen or doesn’t exist only surpasses emotions even more. The problem with not having the right techniques during an argument is that you’re more likely to repeat old patterns. And unfortunately, old patterns usually lead to an inconclusive end, unless two people have an open conversation about what went wrong/right the time before. This lesson hasn’t been an easy one to absorb until I began to develop my own set of skills during times of conflict. In this podcast episode, I give examples of previous relationships that taught me how important fighting techniques can be. Today, it’s one of the characteristics I look for the most because I know that a fight is inevitable at some point. I want to know how my partner fights, and I prefer that he has the courage to confront conflict because doing that is much harder than avoiding it altogether.


LINKS:

{{LISTEN TO THE WOWW CAMPAIGN PODCAST ON ITUNES}} 

Ep. 056: WOWW – Time Doesn’t Heal, Experiences Do

Time Doesn't Heal, Experiences Do

Time Doesn't Heal, Experiences Do
Happy Words of Wisdom Wednesday! As some of y’all know, I’m writing a book about the lessons my exes left behind because I believe there’s a tremendous amount of wisdom in our relationships with other people, especially those we date. By nature, I’m extremely analytical and critical, especially of myself. Analyzing situations and reflecting on what went wrong, right, and everything in between, helps me understand myself better and implement changes in my mindset and/or behavior that are meant to leave a positive footprint in my path. Personal development is extremely important to me because if I don’t feel that I’m moving forward {emotionally}, anxiety and uncertainty flood by brain like a tsunami.

Today’s message is regarding whether or not “timing” is actually medicine for the broken hearted. Does time heal all wounds? Well, in my experience, I don’t think time plays a role. In fact, I think it’s a phrase people say to avoid having in-depth conversations about a current situation. What I’ve learned is that experiences heal us, not timing. Whether we date someone for 6 months or 6 years, the experiences we have once the relationship is over are what matter most. If the relationship of 6 years became more of a routine with little physical, verbal, or emotional connection, it’s likely that when it’s over, any experience you have is going to feel better than the actual relationship. However, the opposite is likely to happen too. If a short relationship ends abruptly because of a fight, but overall you felt a deeper connection, it’s difficult to replace those loving experiences and therefore, you may feel sad for longer than you’d like.

In today’s episode, I talk about two different relationships that describe the above scenario which taught me that experiences are really the medicine we need. The new experiences don’t have to include a new relationship, but rather feelings of fulfillment and joy. The more happiness we feel afterwards, the easier it is to heal and often, we can achieve this by ourselves without having to jump into another romantic relationship. I’d love to hear what you thought of today’s message! Please leave any feedback in the comments below or on our Instagram or Facebook pages.


LINKS:

{{LISTEN TO THE WOWW CAMPAIGN PODCAST ON ITUNES}}  

Ep. 051: WOWW – It All Starts With Self-Awareness

It All Starts With Self-Awareness

It All Starts With Self-Awareness
The relationships in my life have been a source of inspiration and have also led to personal transformative moments full of positive changes. However, it all began with self-awareness and acknowledging that before changes could take place, I had to awaken to the idea that things were not perfect, including myself. Many people ask: “what is self-awareness?” I describe this notion as a state-of-mind that’s constantly seeking truth. I knew I had encountered this mindset when the same questions kept reappearing in different scenarios. After the end of my last relationship, I became curious about the demise of that dynamic. Understanding how all the pieces fit together helped me heal because the truth was the only thing I felt could set me free from the heartache I was experiencing.

Self-awareness can lead to beautiful discoveries and life altering moments, but it comes with a price. I had to be willing to address the wounds I was previously suppressing due to years of ignorance. My ignorance came from a place of pain as well. Because sadness and fear were too overwhelming for me to deal with, I learned to autocorrect these emotions by hiding anything that could enhance my anxiety. Of course, I had no idea I was doing this. According to me, I was “living my life” and simply had an overreactive way of being that was never going to go away. As I became self-aware of my trigger points, I began to correlate these reactions with circumstances that brought out the same negative emotions, time and time again. This “way of being” became a pattern in all of my relationships, until I could no longer suppress the issues that were going on beneath the surface. My survival depended on my self-awareness because I was certain that if I continued to live the way I had been, I’d end up being my own biggest heartbreaker.

The book I’m writing about the lessons my exes left behind will include many revelations that became the catalyst for my personal transformation. Over the next 6 weeks, I’ll be discussing a different lesson during each Words of Wisdom Wednesday podcast episode. This book has been a labor of love because every time I write, I’m forced to look at the woman I was, which can be a painful task at times. If you’d like to be notified of the book launch, use this form and we’ll send you an email when the book is available for purchase.

As I mentioned in the intro of this episode, THANK YOU for supporting WOWW Campaign and allowing us to now be heard in 57 different countries. I couldn’t do this without a supportive audience that believes in vulnerability and constantly striving for more personal development. Thank you so much for allowing my vision to become a reality!

{{LISTEN TO THE WOWW CAMPAIGN PODCAST ON ITUNES}}