Previous RelationshipsWhen I began reflecting on my previous relationships, I noticed a pattern: I was always unhappy with something (anything) they did. Often, these traits were minimal and didn’t matter in the long run. In the moment, they were sensationalized and exasperated. But once the relationship ended, I could hardly remember the cause of those insignificant fights that over time, had a lasting impact on the tone of the relationship. The dysfunctional dynamic that often permeated throughout most of my relationships existed because that’s how I felt about myself. Internally, I always felt confused, uncertain, and fearful, so I sought confirmation of my internal condition.

One of the lessons my previous relationships left behind was the realization that I needed to be happy with myself first. I learned to not only recognize, but also heal the wounds that were causing me to seek chaos and dysfunction. I wanted my partner to exhibit empathy, compassion and love, but I was incapable of giving those things to myself, so how could I receive what I wasn’t able to give? In this week’s Words of Wisdom Wednesday podcast episode, I talk about how I learned that the happier I was as a person, the happier we both would be in the relationship. In my upcoming book, I go into greater detail about why this became one of the greatest lessons I learned and how it constantly showed up in all of my relationships.

I hope this week’s podcast episode inspires all of those in a relationship to seek truth and humility because self-awareness can be painful and complicated. However, the rewards beneath these epiphanies can change the dynamic of the relationship we have with others, and most importantly, the relationship we have with ourselves.